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This Just In ...

Kevin Fischer is a veteran broadcaster, the recipient of over 150 major journalism awards from the Milwaukee Press Club, the Wisconsin Associated Press, the Northwest Broadcast News Association, the Wisconsin Bar Association, and others. He has been seen and heard on Milwaukee TV and radio stations for over three decades. A longtime aide to state Senate Republicans in the Wisconsin Legislature, Kevin can be seen offering his views on the news on the public affairs program, "InterCHANGE," on Milwaukee Public Television Channel 10, and heard filling in on Newstalk 1130 WISN. He lives with his wife, Jennifer, and their lovely young daughter, Kyla Audrey, in Franklin.

Don't you dare be so polite!

It is amazing the complete lack of common sense our so-called “highly educated” display while on the job in our schools.

Before I get to the specifics of the latest case of all those degrees coming out of my armpits that do absolutely nothing to make me smart, I offer this from my blog, Culinary no-no #100. Stay with me, folks:

Once a week she visited our 7th grade class.  A sweet, charming, bubbly lady, she hailed originally from Cincinnati, but had an accent thicker than Scarlett O’Hara’s.  Her mission: to groom a bunch of 13-year old kids.

Because after all, as she often drawled, “You wanna be nice, good lookin’ and clean all over, dontcha, huhhhhhhhh?????!!!!”

Manners. We had to learn and practice good manners.

As hysterical as this may sound to some of you,  I was an extremely good boy. To this day, I always try to be a perfect gentleman. I owe it all to that woman.

She hammered proper etiquette into us like a drill sergeant with a perpetual smile. Over and over and over and over and over again. Want another analogy? It was Vince Lombardi-like. Then came the real test, the time to execute.

Maybe she could sense that I was not an insensitive kid. Whatever the reason, when she issued an assignment pairing up a boy with a girl to put the grooming lessons into practice, I got matched with Sharon Clock.

Everyone in the 7th grade knew that I had a thing for Debbie Huck and vice versa since the 1st grade. Debbie was pretty, very smart and sweet, and built beyond her 7th grade status. Sharon Clock was short, dumpy, fat, and had a silver front tooth. Kids didn’t dislike her. They just pretty much ignored her.

Instead of Debbie Huck, for the next several weeks, I would shadow Sharon. I pulled out her chair. I held the door for her. I hung up her coat. I held her coat when she put it on. I carried her books.  I talked nice to her.

“Is there anything else I can do for you, Sharon? Is there anything I can get you, Sharon? Do you have any other request before I kill myself, Sharon?”

When you’re in the 7th grade, you possess Superman-like peripheral vision and hearing. You can see and hear the smirks and laughter as you help Little Miss Fatty into her seat.

At a Friday afternoon in-classroom party, the occasion escapes me, other kids were spinning records and dancing and laughing and joking.

“Would you like to go hang out with other kids, Sharon?”

"No, not really, Kevin.”

“Well, what do you wanna do?”

“Are you serious, Kevin?”

Her words echoed through my brain: "You wanna be nice, good lookin’ and clean all over, dontcha, huhhhhhhhh?????!!!!”

“Sure, Sharon.”

“I’d like to play chess.”

“Excuse me?”

“Chess. I want to play chess."

It’s amazing how a 7th grader’s thoughts can quickly turn from good grooming to homicide in a matter of seconds. So we played chess, and I tried to ignore the 45’s blaring in the background, and the laughing, and the snickering.

God, what a great guy I was, even way back then.

Now think about it. Back then, in a private school, I was groomed and taught to be mannerly and a gentleman.

In today’s schools where common sense takes a back seat, you not only get scolded, you get suspended.

What a joke! These supposedly educated folks should be ashamed of themselves.

Here’s the story…

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