I am an Ultra-Conservative, Alpha-Male, True Authentic Leader, Type "C" Personality, who is very active in my community; whether it is donating time, clothes or money for Project Concern or going to Common Council meetings and voicing my opinions. As a blogger, I intend to provide a different viewpoint "The way I see it!" on various world, national and local issues with a few helpful tips & tidbits sprinkled in.
Failure to Launch - Adult children never leaving home or returning home to live with their parents.
I call them Attic Angies, Basement Bobs, Main Floor Marys or Childhood Room Charlees! All kiddy adults wanting to play house taking the easy path unable to stand on their own feet.
Many of us have seen the movie “Failure to Launch”, however many families live with it for real with some families having multiple “Failures to Launch”!
We all know them, adult children returning home to live with their parents, “boomerang” children, those that tried to leave but when things got a little hard on their own the quickly come back to easy and protection of mom and dad, or the ones that never left in the first place and will just live with mom and dad until mom and dad die.
These kiddy adults many times never having an exit plan or ever wanting and wishing to be on their own and independent after all it is a cold harsh world out there and it is so much easier to live off the coattails of the parents.
Oh I know that many people just want to pin the blame on the economic downturn of the Great Recession in that as the American economy struggles so do the young adults trying to gain their own footing and independence. We just have to remember that many of these
young adults kiddy adults are of the “Me” generation when they were all winners and all of them got first place ribbons for just trying. These are some of the most coddled kids who now cannot hack adult life so they revert back to kids, thus the term kiddy adults.
Many of them lack the economic responsibility to make ends meet. Many are just lazy and entitled, never once thinking how they impact their parents.
These kiddy adults use their parents as a safety net with no greater financial goal in mind in saving for the future, it is easier and much more fun to blow their money with some not even paying rent to live with the parents. They feel like they are still 13 and need to be taken care of by the parents so when would they pay rent. Sure they can now buy alcohol, but hey they didn’t pay rent when they were 13 so why do they need to now?
Again many of these issues were formed by a society that has created a culture that prevents adolescents and teens from being independent. Parents at one point decided it was easier for them to be friends with their children then to be parents. The children were coddled, sheltered from the real world, had things sugar coated for them by helicopter parents and now they are reaping what the sowed. Sometimes the parents don’t want to admit their own mistakes and just let the kiddy adults just live with them so they don’t have to admit it to themselves.
These kiddy adults have learned to depend on their parents for many things including cooking, cleaning, washing clothes besides the room over their head. The learned process of life management skills i.e. independency, self-reliance, problem solving, money handling, and the hard knocks of life were never learned or taken root.
These kiddy adults have gotten too comfortable at home and because their needs are being taken care of, have little incentive to leave.
So again, some never leave, some boomerang back, some are camped in the basement all failing to launch.
What is needed many times is a good heaping of “tough love”, letting them sink or swim.